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IWD's Special: Is Marriage Necessary?

Wong Shu Lee  


  March 08, 2021

Until today, women around the world face pressure to get married. Although the number of single women has increased, the stigma associated with being single until mid-30’s has not diminished. 


During social ocassions (family’s gatherings, weddings, alumni’s gatherings, etc.), single women are thrown to the following situations: 


  • Awareness of shifting reality as they become older; for example, the shrinking pool of eligible men and increased pregnancy risks.
  • Reminders that they are on different life paths than most women when others inquire about their single status. 
  • Feelings of insecurity and displacement in their families of origin when parents and siblings remark about their singlehood and make jokes or rude comments.


In China, state media is labeling unmarried ladies at 27 years old and above as ‘Sheng nu’ (剩女) or Leftover Women. 


In conjunction with the celebration of the International Women’s Day, today we’re going to discuss is marriage necessary for women? 


Indeed, there are numeral of legal benefits and social benefits of getting married. However, those benefits come with one basic condition—your partner and you are on the same page. Both of you have the same affections towards each other and you respect and admire each other. 


Think about it, if your future husband or wife doesn’t respect you at all, how will your marriage life looks like? If he or she is not your cup of tea or vice versa, how are you going to live together for the rest of the life? 


Let’s ask yourself, why do you want to get married? Is it because you want to have your own child? Is it because of the social pressure your friends and family are putting on you? If your answer is anything else than you found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you’re putting the cart before the horse. 


As more women are financially independent in today’s world, women should be able to decide whether they want to get married or not, when to get married and with whom. 


So, let’s stop giving pressure to single women around you. Do not simply ask intrusive questions. Instead, focus on their life achievements and their hobbies when chatting with them during social events. Ask questions that can create meaningful conversations like “What books are you reading lately?” rather than asking them when are they going to get married. 


We hope everyone, woman or man, is given freedom and space to meet people that they truly love, develop their relationships slowly and steadily, and finally tie the knot when they think that’s the perfect timing. 


Happy Women’s Day! 


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